A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly
And is, also known as a buster
Always talking about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass, so
-TLC “No Scrubs”
I was watching a nostalgic show recently about movies in the ’90s. Dances With Wolves, Thelma and Louise, Austin Powers, Titanic, Being John Malkovich. So many good movies. And of course, Fight Club.
“The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is you do not talk about about fight club.” Who could forget that one?
And as I’m watching it, I think, “the first rule of dealing with narcs is to keep in mind they’re pathological liars. The second rule is, keep in mind they’re pathological liars.”
If you’re not a vampire-narc, you don’t lie constantly. All damn day long. You don’t look someone in the eye and just balls out lie. So, it’s hard to keep in mind. Some of their lies are so absurd it’s obvious. But many are not. After all, this vampire-narc may have been lying like this for almost 50 years. Half a century. That’s a long time. Longer than you’ve been alive. Much longer than you’ve been alive.
Ah but I digress. If you’re a normal human being you have to constantly remind yourself. It’s difficult and annoying but it is the one absolutely essential thing to remember when slaying vampires. They will lie to scare you, lie to manipulate you, lie to make themselves look good/fit/smart/successful/a great parent/ a good Christian/a victim/ someone who hasn’t cheated on their partner. Sometimes they lie for no reason at all other than the fact they’re pathological liars and liars gonna lie.
The interesting part is when you catch them lying and confront them. They will use every narc trick in the book to distract you: word salad, projection, what about-isms, insults, false equivalence, triangulation, glittering generalities, flattery, threats and of course, more lies. Internally, they are panicking. You see, the vampire-narc is him or herself a lie. A walking talking lie appearing to be a human being. Recall from my previous posts, the narc is in fact a really old blood sucking undead creature who devotes constant energy to pretending to be human and in perpetual need of the life force of actual humans to survive and keep up the lie. So, when you call them out, it destroys them. Their entire sense of self collapses and they begin being sucked into the black hole of shame that lies deep within them where an actual person should be.
They panic and roll through all the defenses I referred to above. They will begin piling on more lies. And as you make it clear there is no way getting out of this, that they are busted, they move on to defending themselves, making excuses, minimizing, attacking you and, of course, more lies. Always more lies. Someone get out the circa 1870 guy on stilts because some gas lamps are about to get lit.
But when none of that works and you walk away and leave them alone with themselves, they realize there is a stake in their chest. They assume you put it there. In reality, they’re the ones who put it there. But, projection, ya know? Nothing is their fault. Most of all, their destruction. Hopefully they make it to their coffin in time and they can sleep it off and send that memory express delivery to the narcissistic amnesia mail room. If not, it ain’t pretty.
Some would call it karma. Others, the natural consequences of their actions. Vampire-narcs don’t learn from mistakes, so it’s definitely not a painful opportunity for personal growth. Some would say it’s the wrath of God, but Jesus surrounded himself with lepers and prostitutes and liars so I have to assume he has love even for vampires and narcissists. They’ll probably go to hell since they’re not capable of repenting but I don’t think He’s the type to punish them while they’re still undead.
Whatever it is, it is a dark spiral. But we mustn’t let pity keep us from calling them out on their lies. They’re very good at playing the victim and seeking attention and pity using more lies. We can’t fall for it. Vampires are dangerous predators with strong powers of glamouring and we must stand up to them in the name of truth and love and life. Vampires make more vampires. We can’t tolerate it.
So, remember, the first rule of dealing with vampire-narcs is to keep in mind they’re pathological liars and the second rule is to keep in mind they’re pathological liars. It is the foundation of defeating the very old undead among us. Without it, they win. If we can keep it in mind and call them out, they will eventually not make it to their coffins in time and will have to face who they really are. And they will realize, they don’t actually exist.